Expectations for the wedding night are high. The goal is to have the best sex of your life in the swankiest hotel room you’ve ever stayed in — all while managing to keep your eyes open after an exceedingly exhausting day.
But that’s not always how things pan out. Below are 21 first-person accounts of how newlyweds actually spent their very first night as husband and wife, according to Redditors and HuffPost readers.
1. “Having not eaten all day due to stress and nerves, we realized we were STARVING, and ordered Chinese food from the only place open at 4 a.m. We had more sex while waiting for food, then gorged ourselves on delicious Chinese food and fell asleep watching ‘Wayne’s World.’ It was actually awesome.”
2. “She sat on the floor in front of me. We watched TV while I took the 6,000 hairpins out of her hair. It was a horrible game of pick-up sticks as they were all intertwined. After that, we crashed.”
3. “We slept in separate beds! #HotelBookingError!”
4. “We were married at the courthouse by the justice of the peace. We went and had lunch afterward, a beer, then picked up our 2-year-old and went home. No fancy wedding, dress, or trip, but I married my best friend and that alone made it the best day of my life.”
5. “It was chaste. My in-laws got us a hotel room for the night in a cutesy inn. The room was directly above theirs.”
6. “We slept then woke up and ate cake naked in bed.”
7. “We got back to the hotel, I carried her across the threshold, and we began to consummate our vows. Moments after we started, there’s a knock at the door. It’s my mom. She then said we should both come down and visit with the family. Not preferred.”
8. “It was nearly 50 years ago, but it was one of the best days of my life. We got married in the morning, and after a short reception, we drove to a hotel about halfway to where we were stopping for the honeymoon. We were both sexually inexperienced, so it was great fun finding out together.”
9. “Our room had this awesome giant shower with at least 15 different heads and sprayers. We talked about how cool it was for like five minutes then went to bed. My clothes didn’t make it to our hotel room, so I had to walk-of-shame in my tux the next morning.”