LIVING TOGETHER. YES OR NO?
Are you ready for the next step in your relationship? A question whose answer will take hours of talking with your friends. We have gathered all the information you would like to know before you take the big step!
Have you lived together for over a week?
Cohabitation for a few days has nothing to do with permanent cohabitation. All of us, in the short-term cohabitation (e.g., holidays) give our best and pay attention to the last detail. We do not do it to “cheat” our partner for our perfection, but because we want these few days to have a Hollywood perfection (breakfast in bed, perfectly combed hair, etc.). But this perfection does not last forever, so be prepared for many things you have not thought of. Yes, the “always down” toilet lid is one of them.
Just because you are a couple does not mean that you are the same person.
Every person is unique. It has its own peculiarities and its own character. Just because you are perfect together does not necessarily mean that you will fit in everything. The secret to that? Make both concessions. You may have learned to have a perfectly tidy closet, but he did not. No need for quarrels needs for communication. At the same time, he may not be OK to find your hair or cosmetics everywhere. So, before you live together, you should have a chat about all those things you have learned to do for so long that you live alone and find the perfect solution, where you will both be happy, without having to stress.
Your friends will always be YOUR friends!
As much as your besties like your partner, always remember that they are YOUR friends. They are there to advise you and – in most cases – they know you longer; than he does. That is why you have to listen to what they tell you. The “You have changed” phrase is not because they envy you, but because something in your behavior has really changed and maybe you should look a little further. No matter how great you are with your partner, do not forget your friends and always be available whenever they need you.
A cohabitation requires more expenses for both. To avoid misunderstandings, you should talk about how you will handle this delicate subject before you take the plunge. Yes, perhaps it is a somewhat awkward conversation, but will get you from many troubles. Create a monthly, economical plan and include in it the supermarket and fixed costs. Agree on how the expenses will be shared and of course, if your finances allow, keep a small amount, for your own expenses (e.g., cosmetics, clothes, or whatever you want).
You are not the first one who may have stayed there. So, what.
Many times, when we start cohabitation, we get the stress of our partner’s previous relationships. It makes perfect sense for both -us and him- to have other relationships in the past. But there is no reason to dig into this past, nor to ask investigative questions about what, how, and why. Your past and its past concern only you and there is no reason to bring it to the present. Even if you find someone else’s forgotten things in the house, you can either ignore them – if he did not want you, you wouldn’t be there – or politely tell him that if he doesn’t need them, you can store them somewhere else. It is not about how much you try, it’s about how you do it.
“Choose, the pet or me”. No, no, no.
Never make the mistake of letting the other person choose between you and their favorite dog or cat. If there are no health reasons (e.g., allergy), it would be good to try to be good with your partner’s favorite pet. It was in the house before you, so the answer to this dilemma… you may not like it. We do not tell you to pretend that you like the pet of your partner. But at least, try to find its good characteristics and in time, you will see how perfect it is to have a four-legged friend in your personal space.
Cohabitation is not a prison.
Just because you decided to stay together does not mean that you are in prison. You are free to go out with your friends, to go to your relatives, to go for a walk alone. Just like he will. The freedom of both does not change due to cohabitation. Many couples believe that cohabitation will change their way of life, which – in essence – is not the case. Keep the balance in your relationship and personal life and be sure that your cohabitation will have great results.