April 10, 2015 sistatalks

To Breakup Or Not – That is the question

I was once in a relationship where it was nearly impossible to continue, but still, I couldn’t get myself to leave.  We had broken up a couple of times before, but it was never final. Whenever we broke up, we would eventually get back together. I still felt like I loved this girl and still had hope that perhaps this relationship has a future. But boy was I wrong.

I realized I was looking at the relationship from a completely different perspective. If I try to weigh the pros and cons of the relationship, I can always put the fact that I love her above all the bad things of the relationship.

With a little research, I came across a book entitled “Too Good To Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum.” It resonated with my situation perfectly. Mira, uses a diagnostic approach to deciding whether or not you should stay in a relationship. You answer a few questions, and you realize yourself whether or not you should break up.

Although, this article is not as detailed as the book, here are a few questions that helped me in my decision and I think most people can relate to.

1. Was The Relationship Ever Truly Great?
If your relationship never felt great, then it probably never will in the future. I realized I was never truly happy in the relationship. I was just hoping things would get better. But again, I was wrong.