April 12, 2015 sistatalks

This Is What The Wedding Night Is Actually Like, According To Married People

10. “Sleeping in my husband’s room at his parents’ house after Chick-fil-A for dinner!”

11. “My wife was literally crying because I was taking too long to undo the 800 buttons on the back of her dress that was now hurting her shoulders too much to wear. Then she cried as I pulled out the 8,000 hairpins. A few strands of hair and 30 minutes later we attempted sex, both decided we were tired, said ‘f**k it,’ and went to bed cuddling. Love that woman.”

12. “We had been drinking for hours. We ran into our room, had a decent quickie, ran out into the hallway where I declared in a loud, drunken whisper, ‘I don’t have panties on,’ while following our friends to an after-party in another hotel room. It turns out my mom was behind me and howled with laughter, hugged me and told me I was the perfect daughter. Then she handed me a bottle of whiskey and sent me off with my husband to brew a wicked hangover.”

13. “We eloped without telling anyone and got married in the basement of the courthouse in Harrison, Arkansas. Went home, wife went to her overnight job while I laid on the couch and watched TV.”

14. “We had our hotel room the day before the wedding. Got to the church, did our thing, had a blast at the reception. We leave the reception; my bride tells me her period started at the church. We walked around our favorite store and bought a new board game. We played Monopoly and watched TV on the most comfortable bed we had ever slept on.”

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