I recently married my live in boyfriend of five years. We had both been married before, (I had been married more than once) and we each had two children. I had a daughter who is 20 and a son who is 17, my husband had a son who is turning 19 next week, and a daughter who is 16. We had been living under one roof for four years, pretty happily actually. We had even gotten to the point (mostly) of just raising the kids as one family, not his or mine.
I’m not sure why we decided to get married instead of just continuing to raise our family. The kids really wanted us to, and I guess we wanted to seem as legitimate to the rest of the world as we already did to each other. I kind of thought we’d go to Vegas, but my husband wanted to throw a party. He loves a party. He felt we should have a wedding, a real marriage, with music, and a ceremony, and the people we love.
A “real” wedding made me nervous. I was self-conscious about getting married again. What would people say? Would they talk behind my back? Would they say mean things about me? Would they criticize me for having another wedding? Should I wear a gown? Was it appropriate? Yikes! So instead of focusing on having a “wedding,” we decided instead to focus on celebrating the family we had built together.
We began by deciding to have the wedding in our back yard. We rented a tent and all of the other stuff you need but were careful to choose things that looked like we might own them. The florist, a good friend, used vases and framed photos from our house to add to the decorations. We stayed away from anything to “weddingy.” We chose things that made us happy. We didn’t have a theme.