June 27, 2015 sistatalks

Jealous? Who is jealous?

A lot of people pretend they are not jealous, but, let’s face the fact, we all are jealous! Some just a little and some a little bit more. Being jealous is normal, but there are times that things get serious and can even harm your relationship. We also catch ourselves being jealous for no reason. And this is not good.

Here are some tips that will help you and your relationship overcome this bad “habit”:

1. Recognize that you are jealous
This is very important. You need to acknowledge that you are jealous and your partner should know this. When you are at a bar and your guy is talking to or looking at someone else, say it! Instead of being angry or nervous, say that you don’t like that gesture and he will listen to you. This will help you both.

2. Focus on your relationship
Every time you are jealous, remember how beautiful your relationship is. If you catch your guy looking at a pretty girl, relax! It’s ok! You have done it, too. You can’t stop someone from seeing what’s around. You, too, may have looked at a handsome guy, but this doesn’t mean anything at all. Try not to be negative and enjoy the moments you are together.

3. Wonder “why am I jealous?”
Sometimes, you don’t even have a reason to be jealous. Maybe, you’ve been hurt before, perhaps someone cheated on you in the past, that’s why you are jealous, but this has nothing to do with your new relationship. If someone lied to you, this doesn’t mean that everybody is going to lie to you. All you need to do is trust your man and let it all go.

4. Think twice
When you are jealous, the only thing you want to do is start yelling at your man. No! Just try to calm down and think twice before you react. Think if it’s worth the fight. When we are angry, we often say things that we regret saying, so pay attention. Try to calm down and when you are sober, start a conversation. Don’t make thoughtless decisions.

5. Take all the scenarios off your head
When he is at work, you start creating a lot of scenarios in your mind: that he is cheating on you, that he is flirting with his new assistant, that he is not in the meeting, but somewhere else with someone else, etc. All these are poisoning you and ruining your life. You need to believe in your relationship. If you have any worries, go and tell him. It’s better than creating all these terrifying scenarios in your head. You’ll see that after opening your heart and sharing all your worries and “fears”, you will both feel better.

6. Imagine a third person is looking at you
When we are jealous, we don’t think clear- headed. We say things that we don’t mean and that we regret saying. Have you ever been in a situation where a couple fights because someone of them is jealous? What had you thought then? When you are a third person, and you see a situation from the outside, you can think more clearly and be more sensible. So, next time you are going to fight for such a thing, ask yourself “What would I think if…?”