April 14, 2015 sistatalks

It Happened To Me: Taking Him Back After He Cheated

When you have unresolved emotions lingering, and a man who’s trying to go back to normal as quickly as he can, the healing process for both of you will be delayed. You don’t have to put an exact date and time on when you’ll take him back, but there needs to be some time for you to just sort through YOUR emotions before you decide to face him and all the mess you’ll both have to untangle. If you can, pretend you’re Usher and let it burn for a little while. It will do you both some good in the long run.

If You Decide To Forgive, You Probably Should Forget
A lot of us can forgive our men for cheating, but many of us don’t believe in letting him forget what he did. For him, being reminded of his mistake won’t be anything more than annoying, but for you, it can be like reliving that first day of heartbreak all over again.

If you’ve accepted him back, you’ve decided that you want to make it work, so bringing up the past or harping on it in your mind is a no-no. It’s easier to stick to solutions when talking about what happened simply, but be mindful that you can’t live in the past when you’re trying to create a future with someone.

To live in peace after you’ve forgiven him, you will have to set your attention on rebuilding the trust, not on thinking about the act of infidelity. Learning to trust again is painful, but that pain lasts longer when you’re always digging up the past. It keeps you in that negative space, and it’s counterproductive to what you and your spouse are trying to do.

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