Don’t Even Think About Having “The Talk” With Him Until You Read This
Have you ever had “the talk” with a man, tried to “define the relationship,” or asked him where things are going?
If you’re like many women, you’ve probably found that doing this rarely speeds up a guy’s desire for exclusivity and commitment. In fact, it might have had the OPPOSITE effect.
Chances are he didn’t say, “Wow, you know, you’re right! We’re so awesome together. We should make things exclusive right this second.”
Now, I get that men make relationships feel impossible sometimes. And I know it’s not funny when you’re seeing a guy for a while, and you still have no clue what he’s thinking and where he sees things headed for the two of you.
The reality is that, while you can’t FORCE a man into commitment… you can LEAD him into it.
When Things Are Up In The Air
Women write to me every day about how frustrated they are that the man they’re seeing hasn’t given them a reliable indication of where things are going with the relationship… or even if they’re in an exclusive relationship, to begin with.
These same women will often keep seeing a guy, having a physical relationship with him, and becoming more invested in him even though they feel incredibly uneasy about not knowing where the relationship is headed.
I’m going to show you how NOT to get yourself into this situation in the first place.
I’m going to show you how to set things up right from the start so that you FEEL GREAT, and so do the man you’re dating.
The Importance Of Letting Him Know Where You Stand
Talking about becoming “exclusive” and moving into a relationship where it’s spoken that he’s not dating other women is an important FOUNDATION.
Without this foundation, I’m sure you’ve felt that knot in your stomach and that nagging uncertainty that gets in the way of you ever feeling comfortable enough to really open yourself up. You can’t really relax and truly love until you know this foundation is in place for you.
The thing is, most men don’t understand this about women and about relationships. They don’t get that a woman just can’t truly relax and open herself up to love until she knows she can TRUST the man she’s with and that he’s loving and LOYAL.
Why? Because men don’t always understand the value of this “foundation” and feel it the way most women do…
If a man isn’t the one ASKING YOU for an exclusive and committed relationship, that means YOU have to be the one to initiate the conversation.
Getting The Exclusivity You Want
You never want to be in a situation where you are asking a man where you stand with him. Not only does this put you in a vulnerable position… but it assumes that he’s the one in control, and it will actually make him feel LESS attracted to you.
Doing this is actually one of the big turn off’s for men, and it’s a surprisingly common “dating strategy” women take on that I call becoming the CONVINCER.
Men are simply NOT ATTRACTED to women who try and convince them to be in a more serious relationship with them… or to women who feel that they would need to try and convince a man in the first place.
Instead, men are profoundly and naturally attracted to women who live their lives and have certain “standards” when it comes to interacting with men. And one of the unspoken standards that is most attractive to a man is a woman who is what I call SELECTIVE.