“So, you have my number. Text me.” I wink and turn to walk out the door with my friends into the humid Boston night. I can’t keep the grin off my face. I have a good feeling about this guy, and I know this is going to be something.
I’ve lost count of how many times that scene played out for me. In my group of friends, I was always the one looking for a relationship. I wanted more than casual dating or a fling. I wanted the Holy Grail: unconditional love. Whether I met a guy in a bar, on the street, online, or through friends, I always thought it was going to become something. But it never did. From the time I was 18 until the time I was 28, none of these interactions ended up leading to the great love that I was endlessly searching for.
When I finally found it, I thought my whole world was going to explode in hearts and rainbows and flowers, and for a time, it did. But I never expected that searching for love would be the easy part. It turned out keeping the romance was more difficult than I ever expected.
My fiancé Greg and I met on Tinder when he was volunteering two years ago at the Boston marathon. We were attracted to each other right away, and after exchanging numbers, we began talking every day.
I soon learned that he didn’t live in Boston. He didn’t even live in Massachusetts. He lived in Manchester, Connecticut, about 15 minutes from Hartford. Well, I thought to myself. Nothing’s going to happen with a guy who lives an hour and a half away from me, so I might as well enjoy it for now.
About a month after we began talking, I headed to New York for a friend’s engagement party. At that point, I knew from our texting that we had a genuine connection, as our conversations had been getting progressively more substantial over the month. I thought, Now’s my chance to meet Greg and see if there’s anything there. And he’s halfway between Massachusetts and New York, so I can take a break from driving! (Yes, a large part of why I visited was because he was on the way to somewhere I was already going.) So, I went down to visit him.
Ever since Greg and I have taken turns to visit each other every weekend. We never discussed this arrangement. We both just seemed to operate under the assumption that we would visit each other every weekend until one of us was no longer interested. That never happened. It sounds like a lie, but it was that easy.