I’m Marrying My Long-Distance Boyfriend, Even Though I Know It’s Going To Be Hard

“So, you have my number. Text me.” I wink and turn to walk out the door with my friends into the humid Boston night. I can’t keep the grin off my face. I have a good feeling about this guy, and I just know this is going to be something.

I’ve lost count of how many times that scene played out for me. In my group of friends, I was always the one looking for a relationship. I wanted more than casual dating or a fling. I wanted the Holy Grail: unconditional love. Whether I met a guy in a bar, on the street, online, or through friends, I always thought it was going to become something. But it never did. From the time I was 18 until the time I was 28, none of these interactions never ended up leading to the great love that I was endlessly searching for.

When I finally found it, I thought my whole world was going to explode in hearts and rainbows and flowers, and for a time, it did. But I never expected that searching for love would be the easy part. It turned out keeping the love was more difficult than I ever expected.

 

My fiancé Greg and I met on Tinder when he was volunteering two years ago at the Boston marathon. We were attracted to each other right away, and after exchanging numbers, we began talking every day.

I soon learned that he didn’t live in Boston. In fact, he didn’t even live in Massachusetts. He actually lived in Manchester, Connecticut, about 15 minutes from Hartford. Well, I thought to myself. Nothing’s going to happen with a guy who lives an hour and a half away from me, so I might as well just enjoy it for now.

About a month after we began talking, I was headed to New York for a friend’s engagement party. At that point, I knew from our texting that we had a true connection, as our conversations had been getting progressively more substantial over the course of the month. I thought, Now’s my chance to meet Greg and see if there’s anything there. And he’s halfway between Massachusetts and New York, so I can take a break from driving! (Yes, a large part of why I visited was because he was on the way to somewhere I was already going.) So, I went down to visit him.

Ever since, Greg and I have taken turns to visit each other every weekend. We never discussed this arrangement. We both just seemed to operate under the assumption that we would visit each other every weekend until one of us was no longer interested. That never happened. It sounds like a lie, but it really was that easy.

I just want to share my story with all ladies

I am a 24 lady who was in a bad relationship for 3yrs.When I met the guy I thought he was the one, his sweet words made me believe he loved me and of course I fell for that….I have done everything to please him, I went all out to prove my love for him, I sacrificed my life for him but he was to blind to see all that.

All he was doing best was to tell me about how beautiful other girls are, how my hairstyles makes himsick, he complained about almost everything in my life.

I started to have low self esteem, feeling like am unworthy, feel unattractive coz he told me that no guy will love me. One day he made a mistake by calling me desperate, he told me that am not the kind of girl he wants to get married to. That broke me to pieces, I was in varsity and about to write my exams, I couldn’t study and I was even thinking death was the solution for me But I thank God coz he spoke sense in my life.

I stood in front of da mirror and looked at a beautiful woman, I pulled myself together,studied for my exams and I passed. I graduated last year and Got a job in one of the biggest companies in SA.I met a man who didn’t even wont wait until he put a ring on my finger, am engaged and am going to marry one of the best men in DA world.I have achieved many things that maybe I couldn’t have achieved if I was still with that looser.

He called and asked to see me and I went to meet him, I went to meet him looking beautiful, driving my car and waving the ring on my finger, he couldn’t believe what he saw, I took him to the best restaurant and paid allthe bills, He cried and said sorry bt it was too late.After that I felt like am on top of the world when my ex saw me swimming in success.NOW I PRAY to someone reading this today every one you worked so hard for and neglected you would come back to beg you.

WHEN your glory shine!!! Can someone say a loud
“AMEN”

I hit my boyfriend and I hate myself for it

Please help me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and don’t know why I do this. I hit my boyfriend for the first time about a year ago and we were engaged, long story short he ended up leaving me and about 9 months later he came back. We have been dating for about three weeks now and two nights ago I hit him again.

It Happened To Me: Taking Him Back After He Cheated

My heart goes out to women like Karrueche Tran and Keyshia Cole.  They’re in the public eye, and they had to suffer through the devastation of learning that their men stepped out on them with other women. Being in the public eye puts them in a position to be heavily criticized if they make the decision, for themselves, to take Chris and “Booby” back. I couldn’t deal with that.

I was cheated on by my fiance many moons ago, and deciding to take him back wasn’t an easy decision to come to. It took a lot of time and a lot of healing. Taking a man back after he’s cheated requires a different level of strength. You have to be an extraordinarily strong woman to continue to love and live with a person after they’ve betrayed your trust in such a way.

So how does one deal after finding out that their man has been emotionally or sexually connecting with someone else? Though every individual has their own way of dealing with a cheating spouse, here’s what I did and what you can try if you’re considering taking him back.
Do Not Blame Yourself
For a lot of women, including myself, the natural reaction to learning that your man ran to someone else is to question your own worthiness and actions. You ask yourself, “what did I do that pushed him out the door and into the arms of another woman?” And when the comparisons between yourself and the other woman begin to cloud your mind, you ask yourself, “what didn’t I do?” 

About That Time I Knowingly Played The Role Of The “Main Chick” For A Cheating Man

The main chick is a woman who has been in a relationship or marriage for a long time and has put up with a lot of crap from her man to be considered number one on his roster. If they’re not married, she’s the woman who has “wifey” status. The main chick is the one who through intuition, or proof, knows that her man steps out every once in a while; but she’ll justify it because he comes home to her at the end of the day.
This used to be my reality when I was younger, and for lack of a better word, dumb. I was with a guy for two years on and off. Throughout those two years, I caught him cheating more than once. Looking back on that time is extremely embarrassing for me because I still can’t believe I allowed myself to go through something so degrading and humiliating. The reasons I mentioned above are partly why I stayed with him, but honestly, I was friends with his mom and I felt pressured by her to stay.

When I found out he’d had a woman in my car when we switched vehicles for the day, I called his mom to vent. Her response was, “Well you get to go on the trips don’t you? You’re the one he comes home to.” These were supposed to be words of wisdom and encouragement, but after hearing such excuses one too many times, it felt crazy to me. As I held the phone to my ear, I listened to a woman trying to rationalize why I should stay with her philandering son. The main chick was supposed to be a consolation prize because I was living a “great life,” even if I was completely miserable.

Is This Petty? I Broke Up With Him After Almost A Year Because The S*x Was Terrible

A friend of mine told me an interesting story recently about a girl she knows who thought she met the perfect guy.

He’s fine. He graduated from Yale. He has a great job. And most importantly, he treated her well.

However, despite having it all together in almost every area of his life, he was…how do I say this?

Well, he was subpar in the sack. Sorry to say it in such a harsh way, but clearly that is the perfect way to describe the s*x. How do I know? She broke up with the poor fella over it.

According to my friend, her girlfriend liked the guy a lot, but she could not overlook the fact that there was a level of passion missing from their relationship. They had been dating for less than a year, and even though things started off nicely, slowly, she started to have that feeling. It is the feeling you get when you know something is off, but you don’t want to put the spotlight on it. You don’t want to talk about it or pay it too much attention because you are happy, and you’ve finally found a great catch who is amazing on paper.
Confused as to whether or not she was about to sabotage a good thing over something she initially didn’t think was important, she tried to ignore that feeling.

However, as months passed, there was no more avoiding it: he was simply bad in bed. Eventually, she had to say something (not by telling him how bad he was, but by saying that she wanted to spice things up). So they tried different things, different moves, and different places.

Still no dice.

She put on a good front in the bedroom while she could, moaning and pretending that she was getting her world rocked, and her boots knocked. But alas, as Blaine and Antoine of the “Men on Film” skit would say, “Hated it!”

So about two months ago, after being wined and dined and appreciated by a genuinely good man, she ended things. While he had some great qualities and treated her well, she could not ignore the fact that when she was with him, she didn’t feel…fire. The fire that makes you look at your man after he says or does something unexpectedly awesome in public, and think a thought that’s a little too Rated R for me to try and put into words. The romance was there, but the passion? Not so much. She couldn’t help but think that she was settling, and that there could be someone else out there who could make her feel that fire. So she went looking…

With that in mind, I am wondering just how important is the passion in a relationship to you?

Michael Jai White Pens Letter Of Apology To Ex-Girlfriends

Speaking of exes, Michael Jai White has quite a bit to say to his these days. Over the weekend, the “For Better or For Worse” actor took to Facebook with a lengthy letter of apology to women from his past. In the letter, White explains why his relationships with his exes were significantly different from his current relationship with fiancée, Gillian Waters. His full letter reads:

APOLOGIES TO ALL MY [EXES]!

In all my years as a grown man I knew, without a doubt, that women were different than men and required a gang of emotional attention. I came to the resolution that part of a man’s role was to endure women’s emotional neediness by patronizing them much as you would a child: “Yes, Dear, I’m listening,” even though this is some rhetorical BS. “Of course I miss you,” even though I just saw yo’ a– a little while ago! “I see you’re calling me”… even though I just F*^#ing talked to you 20 minutes ago!
As a man, you have to deal with hand holding, “yes dearing,” and freaking cuddling! I endured this for years until my relationships reached their natural demise due to some natural chemistry flaw between us or the woman’s natural chemical imbalance–yes I said it! I believed ALL WOMEN WERE CRAZY and the only choice a man had was to decide exactly how much crazy he’s willing to deal with to sustain a relationship.

It’s crazy to think I, as a man, would ever want to spend every waking moment with a woman, to be all-up-on each other constantly, to talk endlessly about “every-damned-thing” and see each other “every-damned-day!” I was always the spoiled Alpha Male who didn’t have to try as hard and I dealt out advice to my brethren due to my abundant experience with women. I had Alpha Females, “Dime Pieces” with degrees and plenty of them! I pretty much got every woman I wanted, rich or famous and who could argue with my numbers? On every level, I was “The Man!” Agreed? Well take my numbers, “Dime Pieces,” and vast experience and apply it to what I’m about to say–I WAS WRONG ABOUT WOMEN ALL THESE YEARS! My [Exes] were right!

Signs of a Failing Relationship

Relationships fail for many reasons; if you can see the signs of a failing relationship early, you have a better chance of fixing it. Inspired by The Parable of the Poor Farmer – and by a reader’s comment about her failed relationship – these signs may bring you the insight you need.

The Parable of the Poor Farmer
Once upon a time, there once was a poor old man who owned a beautiful white horse. Whenever noblemen passed through the village, they always noticed the horse and offered handsome sums of money for the stallion. The old farmer always declined their offers, saying, “This horse is my friend. How can I sell my friend?”

One morning the old man awoke to find the horse was gone. The village people gathered. “You were a fool not to sell the horse,” they said. “You could have been wealthy! Now it has been stolen, and you have nothing. It is a great misfortune!”

But the old farmer replied, “I wouldn’t say that. Whether the horse was stolen or not, or whether it is a misfortune or a blessing, is unknown. All we know is that the horse is not in the stable.”

“Signs of a Failing Relationship” image by mrzell via DeviantArt
Some days later the horse returned, bringing several beautiful wild mares. Again the village people gathered. “You were right,” they said. “The horse was not stolen, and it was not a misfortune. It was a blessing, and now you have many fine horses!”

But the old farmer replied, “Again you go too far. We don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. All we know is the horse is back. Whether it is a blessing or a misfortune is unknown.”

Some days later the old man’s only son began to train the wild mares, but he was thrown and trampled, and one of his legs was badly broken. The village people were saddened. “You were right,” they said. “It was not a blessing but a great misfortune, and now your only son is lame!

But the old farmer replied, “Don’t say it’s a good thing, don’t say it’s a bad thing, just say my son has broken his leg. Whether it is a blessing or a misfortune is unknown.”

A few weeks later the country went to war, and all the able bodied young men were forcibly taken for the military. Only the old man’s son was passed over, because his leg was broken. The whole village was crying and weeping, for they believed their sons would be killed. “You were right,” they said. “Your son’s injury was a blessing. Your son may be crippled, but he is with you, while our sons are gone forever!”

The old farmer simply shook his head and said, “We don’t know if it’s good or bad that my son is here, and your sons are not. We will wait and see. ”

The moral of the parable: nothing is good or bad in itself. Always wait and see before you judge something that happens in your life or relationship.

Be slow to judge
Why are you looking for signs of a failing relationship? Stop for a few moments, and write down the reasons you think your relationship might be ending. Sometimes these reasons aren’t really signs of a failing relationship, they’re just the natural dips of a normal, healthy relationship. For instance, if you think a sign of a failing relationship is that you don’t feel like you’re “in love” with your partner, then you need to learn what love is.

Listen to the advice of others – but trust yourself
In the parable, everyone around the farmer told him what was good and what was bad. They judged everything that happened before giving things a chance to unfold naturally. In your life, are there people who judge quickly? Maybe you yourself tend to judge events before letting them unfold. Not feeling like you’re in love with your partner is a good example of a “sign of a failing relationship” that is really just a natural condition of being committed to another person for a long time.

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