It’s been about 12 weeks since I saw the awful texts that confirmed my suspicions that you were unfaithful. For two years I had been questioning whether you loved me as I felt so unloved – so much so that I occasionally asked if you were having an affair. And I thought you were avoiding me. You assured me every time that you did love me and were not having an affair, which made me feel happy that things were fine again, for a while.
However, I had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right, but because you were reassuring me, I began to question my sanity. I became ill, had panic attacks and anxiety. Our children wondered why you were going out so much and not spending much time with me or with us as a family. But you carried on being selfish.
Initially, when I confronted you about the texts on that awful day, you were adamant it had only been a one-night stand. Although the familiarity in the tone of those texts did not ring true for just a one-night stand, when I asked you, yet again you reassured me.
You arranged for me to go to a Relate appointment with you the very next day, to which I’d agreed. Five minutes before we were due to go in for our session, you broke the devastating news that you had indeed been having an affair – for 18 months.
My world fell apart. I was utterly distraught. You were my world – my friend, my only lover – and you had wholly betrayed and hurt me to a degree beyond my comprehension.
After a week or so, you twisted the knife yet again and admitted the affair had been going on for two years.
You had also spent some of our family money on this woman and taken her away for weekends. You said you had purchased several bottles of wine every time you met her, as you put it, to help you “do the deed” as it was “just drunken s*x.”
You bought her flowers, a photographic memory book with pictures of you together and a necklace for her birthday. You took her away to several concerts, including the V festival. You took her for a night in a hotel the day after Valentine’s day, which was also a couple of days before her birthday. And all that time you were lying to me about who you were seeing and what you were doing. I was so trusting.
The woman is a work colleague and you still see her every day, even though you have said you are no longer “seeing” her. I am not sure that I believe you after so many lies for so long. Unfortunately, I will never know whether you are still seeing her, as you can do as you please now because you are no longer with me. You fooled me so well.
You continue to treat me despicable. You do not show any remorse or regret what you have done, nor do you show any emotions or feelings towards me or my wellbeing – you act as if nothing has happened and not once have you cried.
You have told me that you hadn’t loved me properly for quite some time, which I am extremely upset about as you never brought up the problems in our relationship so that we could have tried to work them out. We had been together 28 years, and that’s a lot of memories to throw away.