He’s perfect for you… but he has an excuse every time you invite him to meet your friends and family. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a partner… but she’s hyper-critical of all the decisions you make.
It’s easy to disregard your reservations when you’ve found someone who seems perfect for you on paper. But trusting your instincts at the beginning of a relationship could save you a tremendous amount of hurt down the road.
Below, relationship experts offer nine types of people who aren’t marriage material.
1. The flake.
The two of you have so much in common, and the chemistry is undeniable. You can’t wait until the next date — whenever that will be; it’s damn near impossible to get him to pencil in time for you. The last thing you need is someone who comes in and out of your life but never really commits, said Brenda Della Casa, the author of Cinderella Was a Liar: The Real Reason You Can’t Find (or Keep) a Prince.
“They might tell you to be patient or to ‘trust’ them, but you’re probably feeling more anxiety than butterflies,” she said. “You have an instinct for a reason, and it’s OK to trust and protect yourself in relationships. Those who want to be with you will make adjustments, and those who want to be with you out of convenience will fall by the wayside when you set strong boundaries in place.”
2. The too-much-too-soon type.
It’s only date number three, and you’ve already been handed a set of keys to her apartment and heard her top five private school choices for your future offspring. That spidey sense you’re picking up, telling you to back away slowly from this person? Listen to it, said Amy Van Doran, a New York City-based matchmaker and founder of The Modern Love Club.
“What’s the rush here? If it’s real, you are not going anywhere. This excitement is less about you, and more about their insecurities and who they are as a person,” she said. “It’s a red flag when they are too effusive with their words and their actions before they get to know you as a person. The second you share their excitement, the whirlwind has already passed, and they are onto their next romantic conquest. Time is the best indicator for who a person actually is.”