The most challenging relationship skill is recognizing when something isn’t working and summoning the strength to walk away. Love isn’t enough to ensure a relationship stands the test of time. Two people can love each other very much and still not be right for one another. We’d all like to believe that all you need is love, but the truth is, it’s a lot more complicated than that.
If a lasting, committed relationship is what you want, you need to be able to recognize the warning signs that indicate a relationship isn’t built to last.
Here are the top five signs that he isn’t the one:
1. You Don’t Trust Him
Without trust, there is no relationship. Period. In a good, strong, healthy relationship you feel at ease. You feel safe. You feel secure. You do not feel panicked continuously and on edge, always anticipating the proverbial another shoe to drop.
If you don’t believe the things he tells you or is always questioning his motives and his whereabouts, there is something majorly amiss. You can’t spend your life still on the lookout, that’s just exhausting.
Sometimes a lack of trust develops because of something substantial. Maybe he cheated, maybe you caught him in a few too many lies. And sometimes it’s something that lingers in the pit of your gut. Even though you can’t quantify the reason, you just don’t feel like you can trust this person. Either way, it’s a big red flag and a major sign that your relationship isn’t going to last.
If he cheated or lied to you, then you’ll have to be honest with yourself in deciding if you can truly move past it and if you really, genuinely believe that he’ll never do the same thing again. If you can’t get to that place, then there isn’t much point in sticking it out. You’re just setting yourself up for a situation where you will always feel paranoid and insecure. Relationships are supposed to bring out your best, not your worst.
If you can’t quite pinpoint the reason for your trust issues, you should listen to your gut. Our gut instincts can be incredibly powerful. Just make sure you aren’t projecting your insecurities onto him and aren’t making him pay for the sins of cheating/lying ex-boyfriends past.